Here's the latest edition of "You And Your Kamper" from Kanakuk President, Joe White.

Dear Parent,

Of all of life’s truly great joys for me, none surpasses the many chances I get to hug students at the foot of the cross as they volitionally leave their seats in the arenas and theaters and bring their baggage to the foot of that cross I build and give their hearts to the Savior who died there. 

Thirty nights a year in colleges and universities across the country I am blessed beyond measure to get to build that cross and see God’s transforming grace in 1000’s of students’ eyes who now know a father’s love.

In Louisiana last week I had one of these amazing encounters.  The students poured onto the floor to come to the Lord and without a word of instruction all of them made a long line to get a big bear hug.  There were many avenues to get to that cross but all waited patiently, so many with tears streaming down their faces, wanting a hug from an old guy who was so proud to be a daddy figure in their life…even if only for a moment.  Asian, Hispanic, Anglo, African American, and foreign students alike all needing a father’s hug…a hug of assurance…a hug of unconditional love.

The same thing happens in football pregame chapels I do for college teams and in the National Football League.  And, it happens repeatedly at men’s events where young and old need to feel an embrace that far too many have never known. 

In Louisiana’s last week as I hugged those kids, particularly the minority students to whom my heart is always most fondly drawn, I knew that was the first time most of them had ever been hugged like that by any man in a reverent caring manner, particularly an “old white dude”…building a bridge of oneness in the human race and oneness in the Spirit.

Across this nation kids are starving for that hug; knowing they are loved; knowing they are forgiven at the cross; knowing their life matters; knowing their soul matters; knowing they have a future of hope.  My, how these students need a hug!!  Last night (as I write) the last of the many students at the North Carolina State event that I hugged had been suicidal and lost all hope.  As I hugged him at the cross, he left his “baggage” and walked out a “new man in Christ” full of hope and resolution to live for God’s glory.

 

YOU AND YOUR CHILD

“The Anatomy of a Hug”

Why are most of our kids so hungry for a hug and what are their hearts yearning for?  What makes a hug so meaningful and what does a hug mean to a child?  How do you hug when your child feels unhuggable and how do you re-establish the closeness when the door closes?

Marriage research experts tell me that a sincere hug can provide incredible security and energize a spouse or a child in seconds.  A hug communicates with the emotional heart like no other gift endowed by our Creator!  A hug says, “It’s ok,” “I treasure you,” “You are adorable,” “You are dearly valued,” “I’m proud of you,” “I bless you and believe in you.” 

No one can say it like a mom or dad!!

Why do kids, students, NFL athletes, and men stand in line for an (often tearful) long meaningful hug?  It must be because kids are starved for it!  These NFL guys are making millions and wearing diamond rings that would make a good fishing line weight and yet their hearts are so often impoverished for intimacy.

A hug is like a hot fudge sundae.  They taste good 24/7/365!!  Hugs come in all shapes and sizes.  A warm smile, gentle nod of the head, a “thumbs up,” an “Attaboy,” a “Way to go, buddy,” a note in the lunch box, a note on the bathroom mirror.  All are good, all effective and, when you’re in one of those ‘seasons’ when hugging isn’t cool, good creative alternatives that may be your only option. 

Here’s a ‘smorgasbord’ of “hugs” I put together for you.  Pick a few that fit your family’s needs this month and “Dish it out” as the opportunities arrive.

• Save ten percent of your energy from your work day, and take it home with you to spend on your children and spouse.  Offer your best to your family.
• In love, challenge your child to make goals (challenge him to stretch himself) and to strive for them (press on!).
• Listen very hard – even when your ears are tired!
• If your child especially dislikes one of his chores, think of a surprising way to make it more fun.
• Talk with each other about your favorite books, and why you like them.
• Smile at your child.
• Remind your child often that he is created in the image of God.
• When your child’s friends need an adult (besides their parents) to talk to – be there. 
• Turn off the T.V. (or iPod, internet, cell phone) and play a game together.
• If your child has a bike or car, help him wash it.
• Go jogging together.
• Say something encouraging about your child in front of his friends.
• Sit outside some night and talk together as you watch the moon and stars.
• Cook breakfast together on Saturday morning.
• Be consistent in your discipline.  Establish guidelines and follow through with what you say you’ll do.
• In a moment when you and your child are relaxed and enjoying each other’s company, tell your child about your spiritual past – your wonderings and your wanderings, how you found Christ, and how Christ changed your life.
• Think about: when you consider the Biblical command to “love the Lord your God with all your strength,” what relevance could it have for the way you love your child?
• With your child, answer this question, “What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you?”
• Allow your son or daughter to go to work with you and be your helper.
• Tell your child, “You contribute so much to this family.”
• Ask your child how you can pray for them, then pray together.
• Celebrate your child’s achievements and victories, but don’t let him feel he has to “win” in order to be loved.  Accept and love him at all times, and communicate that your greatest joy is because of who he is, not what he does.
• Laugh together.
• Look at old photo albums together.
• Don’t be afraid to admit to your child when you’re wrong.
• Ask your child, “What are your biggest dreams for the future?”
• Attend every open-to-parents function at your child’s school.
• Talk frequently with your child about spiritual lessons you’re learning.  (Invite his observations about how well you’re learning them).
• As often as possible, let your child hear you say to the ones you love, “I Love You.”
• When you and your child are around other adults, include him in your conversations with them.
• Be honest.  If you have wrongly withheld or distorted something in the way you’ve talked with your child, confess your dishonesty and tell your child the truth.
• Give your child the freedom to fail.  Remember, mistakes are never fatal.
• When your child is sick, stay up with him at night.
• Say “please” and “thank you” each time you ask your child to do something.
• Tell your son or daughter, “I’ll never give up on you.”

One way or another, kids crave our hugs, and honestly, it’s my favorite part of my job as K-2 Director.  I get to hug kids all day long.  I hug them in the weight room as I train them for their dreams in sports.  I hug them during K-Life talks when they establish their “purity covenants” and purpose their hearts for sexual purity.  I get to hug them as they sort through hurts in their schools, homes, and broken relationships. 

While many of our Kamp terms are full today, many are not.  Especially for teens, when they need Kamp the most, we still have a number of places for kids you know who need this kind of hope, assurance, and training in their life.  Please help me reach the kids of this nation!  Reach out to your extended family, neighbors, and fellow workers.  Give them a call and send me their names.  I’ll write them personally and send them a DVD.  Our staff is hired and ready to change this nation and bring true moral character back in our kids! Scholarship assistance is often available for those who are in financial need.

As far as our own kids go, I’ve heard my wise and logical wife, Debbie Jo, say several times, “The worst mistake we ever made as parents was letting a high school coach talk us out of sending Cooper to Kamp because of summer team workouts.”  Kids need two or four weeks of Kamp worse than ever before to build their inside braces to fight the outside pressures that are literally crushing the moral fiber of an entire generation challenged by moral issues the likes of which no generation of kids has ever known.

I’m so grateful to get to “partner with you,” with your kids, and the kids of our nation.  Your prayers, your faith, your “ambassadorship” for Kamp are irreplaceable.  Thank you.

You too are loved

For happy parenting

PS- I'm writing a new book I’d love to share with you and other parents and it would help me tremendously if you would answer this question for me! “What are some fun, unique traditions that your family participates in?” An example would be “breakfast with mom or dad” on Saturdays with initials in the pancakes or special encouraging innovations for your children. I’d love to hear what your family does to stay connected and bonded in love! You can email me your family traditions at joe@kanakuk.com! Thanks for your help!

And, as always thank you for sending me names of families you know who’d love Kanakuk for their kids. Please send me their names and info and I’ll write them and send them a Kamp DVD. You are our billboard. This is how we keep this place of refuge one happy family and make America a better place to be a child.